No person can both love and control the same person (for an enduring length of time). This is true for all relationships, from the most casual and platonic, to professional, to the most intimate. It is also so for all family relationships. The one who is being controlled (manipulated, coerced, check-mated) will ultimately resist. He or she will find his or her way out, no matter how pleasing or attractive the so-called rewards or harsh the punishments. He or she who seeks to love will seek no power or control over anyone, most especially the object of his or her love.
The power to offer grace and forgiveness is first and foremost for your own well-being, your freedom, your dignity, your spiritual growth. It has nothing to do with licence or lack of accountability or “cheap grace” offered to whomever has hurt or offended you. Your dignity, your well-being, your generosity and spirituality is your business. Mind it. It’s worth it.
The power to be generous of spirit (and of wallet) lives within you, comes with the human package. Unlock it, free it, and you unlock and free your own spirit and ready it to soar. Your wealth is reflected in what you give, not what you store. Your wealth lies in whom you empower, not the power you may feel when glancing your bottom line.
Ragesdale Art
difficultrelationships.com 
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