I have frequently witnessed parents who lean toward obsessive, indulgent parenting.
It is, in my limited experience, a Western phenomenon, visible in more wealthy counties.
While it sounds heretical I have encouraged many parents to have a life outside of their children. I promote the idea that children were never intended to be a parent’s reason to live (something I have often heard). Think of how much pressure that is for any child to shoulder. Children will crumble or rebel under the pressure of indulgence and worship.
Divided attention (“I’ve got other things I have to do.”) is probably better for children than undivided attention (“I instantly drop everything when my children need me.”).
I suggest parents pursue friendships with other adults and chase interest in the things they are good at like art, music, literature.
A healthy parent engages in activities that have nothing to do with his or her children or with parenting.
This usually enhances parenting and does not detract from it.
Nothing in the above suggests the promotion of child neglect.
Far from it.
I’d suggest child indulgence is itself a form of neglect.
Self-neglect will do your children no good at all, especially if the energy you do not spend on yourself is spent on over-caring (indulging) for your children.
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