Involuntary emotional primal reactions for self protection of fight, flight, freeze, fawn serve people well under limited circumstances like wars or violence or physical invasions. These reactions, designed to self-protect, are usually unhelpful if they leak into or invade our day-to-day relationships.
When faced with an enemy, a threat, a danger (real or perceived) humans will react to protect. The reaction evoked will require no thinking, it will be immediate and one of or a combination of:
Fight – eliminate the threat.
Flight – flee the threat, get away.
Freeze – be immobilized by the threat.
Fawn – give excessive attention to the threat to seek approval, therefore escape.
Humans are somewhat complicated and what was intended for survival can get in the way of “thrival” (to thrive – this is my word, I just made it up) if “on the inside” we are fighting, fleeing, freezing, fawning, when there is no threat and self-protection is is unnecessary. The child whose environment demands all four to survive – they usually and necessarily travel in packs – may have a tough time escaping these primal reactions when they are no longer necessary. When involuntary emotional reactions are “habitual” or the default for children, it’s easy to see how it is that the adults who emerge may be difficult to reach and to know.
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