Swimming, showering and bathing are the same thing. A shower with soap and shampoo cleans you for four or five days. Licking your fingers washes your hands. Biting an apple brushes your teeth. Potato chips IS vegetables. Flossing and flushing? Why? You just have to do it again.

Sleeping wastes time (weekends). People need sleep (school days). Making a bed is stupid. You get into the same one every night. Wearing a shirt inside out is putting on a clean shirt. Pulling a shirt over your head combs your hair. Putting clothes away means you just have to get them again. A bedroom is tidy if you can see (any part, even a smidgen) of the carpet. 

Lighted candles must be disturbed and never left alone. Drip the wax, always, anywhere. You can climb, throw, jump on anything if you really want. All bodies of water must be disturbed, no matter how peaceful or beautiful, you must throw something into it or skip stones. If you have a brother EVERYTHING is a competition. SHOTGUN for the front seat works even if you only think it.