Listen to people for long enough – some people need very little time – and you will “see” into their hearts, their souls, and have a measure of the fear and pain that is theirs.
The things we talk about and the way we talk, the things we find funny, offer a glimpse into the very depths of who we are and into what is hurting within us.
Every time I open my mouth to speak I am offering clues to the state of my emotional health.
While it would be foolish to jump to conclusions based on a few uttered sentences and we ought to give one another the benefit of any doubt, some topics and obvious attitudes are unmistakable, unavoidable, and announce who people are and the pain and fear that is theirs.
When listening, racial slurs and racial jokes get my attention.
I think they indicate fear, fear that parades as superiority.
Swearing, especially blasphemy, suggests deep cynicism, the very antithesis of faith and hope.
Men ridiculing women, anyone expressing rudeness toward waiters, showing off with wealth, one-upmanship, I believe all indicate a persistent lack of self-acceptance and self-worth.
What can be so painful about living that anyone has to employ such defenses?
May we be agents of grace and kindness – both to others, and to ourselves.
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