“My daughter was previously married and has two children from that marriage. Her two boys are five and eight. My daughter married again, a man with twin sons (9). Together, in the new marriage, they have a girl. My daughter has an ex-husband (who loves his children). Her new husband has an ex-wife (who loves her twins). There are periods when this ‘blended’ family seems to work, but it seems things are unraveling and the marriage will soon end. My daughter is asking for help.”

My heart goes out to all the participants in this difficult circumstance. 

Blending families is among the hardest challenges any couple in second and third marriages will ever face. 

There are always multiple levels of loyalties and commitments, pushes and pulls, recognized and unrecognized. 

There will be times when everybody will feel “in the middle” and “left out” and “picked on” purely as a result of the number of relationships in the family and the busyness of daily living.

I trust your daughter and her husband both know that ending the marriage will only multiply complexities.

While your daughter may not have the time or desire to read I’d strongly suggest “Extraordinary Relationships” by Roberta Gilbert. It’s quick, it pulls no punches, and it empowers the willing reader to make healthy shifts in the most difficult and complicated families.