It fascinates me that we often know so little about each other and how little time we take to try to discover each other. 

Occasionally I will play the piano. 

Someone where I live, will tell me they didn’t know I played. 

When I report that amongst other places, I played topless in a flowery skirt for a lua band in Hawaii they are usually taken aback. Sometimes I’ll add that at 12 I played for a stripper named Syringa who danced with a snake.

This is what I mean. There are whole volumes of our lives that others don’t know about and we’d all be enriched (perhaps) if we took the time to find out. We are all more than we can see.

I visited a man in a care facility a while back and met a friend of his who was also visiting. All I saw about him was that he was tall, very tall. I took no time to find out anything about him. I recalled his name because when we both left the care facility the waves and cheers he got from other residents made it clear he was well known.

I was rather embarrassed when I got home and googled him.

This gracious man was a basketball star of national significance and I didn’t even know he played.

“Leave things – parks, campsites, picnic areas, beaches, national parks – better than you found them” is, for obvious reasons, a widely used, helpful mantra.

When applied, everyone benefits.

The communal or public facilities are left clear of litter, things are straightened out, tidied, to benefit those who will next use it. Those departing are better off for having increased awareness of the needs of others, even the needs of strangers.

It becomes a way of thinking, a lens through which we see the world, all it offers, and what we have to offer it.  Exercising such awareness and thoughtfulness leaves us all better off and offers us all a chance to grow.  

I think this principle applies also to people, to all encounters, casual to intimate.

Every encounter can be a positive one. Yes. It can. Even with that very difficult neighbor, that surly in-law, that rude guy at the post office. Your Ex.

You can make it so by how you leave it, how you clean up after yourself, how you take care of who you are and how you respond in the encounters. It’s not that I think everyone needs some kind of fixing but we can leave every encounter with grace, kindness, with an exchange that’s encouraging, even the most difficult of encounters.