Adolescent boys can be very unkind to girls.

Teach your sons to stop and your daughters to expose it.

I well know girls can also be unkind, but the following is to parents with girls. Your feedback and additions are welcome:

• Listen for what your daughter is NOT saying. I know this is tough but what she is not telling you will reveal reams about her experience. No – I am not trying to be obscure.

• Affirm your daughter when she advocates for those she considers victims and ask her about if there are ways she may need someone to advocate for her.

• If she is being victimized she may not immediately inform, she may believe she has to tough it out. Like you did when she was younger and learning to cross a street, you may have to assure her that it is safe to speak even though it may be scary.

• Encourage your daughter to show up, stand up, and speak up for herself and that doing so is essential and not selfish. Literally applaud her when she does.

• Repeatedly assure your daughter that you are the only parent she will ever need, that it is safe for her to test everything about life by testing it with you.