Reader Writes: I am in a bad relationship with a man who is trustworthy but I have no ability to trust him. I jump down his throat a lot and feel disappointed when I don’t get the attention I require. I am jealous and suspicious and accusatory. He will leave me if I carry on like this. I am trying to change (through therapy) but it’s a process. My upbringing was abusive and I know my damage comes from there. I am scared of loosing this fantastic man who would be a fabulous dad and loyal husband. Being around him makes me face my fears but every day is a struggle and a headache. He comes from a stable, loving background and cannot understand my past. I don’t know whether to stay or go. He says he loves me and he imagines me having his babies. (Letter shortened)
Rod’s Response: Your honesty, his patience, and, adhering to the wisdom of your therapist might get you to the “other side” of your current problems. If you really seek to resolve your childhood issues, which are sounding so loudly in your present, be sure your therapist is skilled in “family-of-origin” therapy, so these powerful past experiences can lose their powerful grip upon your present.
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