The problem with jealousy…

by Rod Smith

Jealousy distorts reality. It becomes a lens through which the victim appears larger, more powerful than they are. If I am jealous, want you only for my own, I will notice everything you do and interpret everything you do and say as if it is connected to what you think and feel about me. I will read meaning never intended by your words or behavior.

The power to choose is essential to love. If removed, love ceases. Jealousy poisons choice and love. It robs a jealous person of the very love they think their jealousy will protect.

Jealousy makes people most unattractive. A jealous person can operate in this manner for so long that jealousy seems essential to their personality. They appear to know no other way to operate.

Unchecked (unmonitored, uncontrolled) jealousy will act as temporary glue, or repel your lover from you, or set you both on a course of anger and resentment. There are no positive rewards except the temporary, illusion of power jealousy offers.

If you think jealousy will keep someone with you, you have failed to see that the very act of ensuring someone be yours forever, is the removal from that person of the very essence of love – freedom to choose.

One Comment to “The problem with jealousy…”

  1. carla hardin's avatar

    I have been married to a jealous man for 17 years. In many ways he was the perfect man loving romantic but always jealous and controlling. The first 10 years of our marriage were ok due to the busy life raising children and this seemed to make him secure that i was busy. After the children were older it got worse he started wondering what i was doing to fill my time. He started calling every 2 hours to check where i was this progressed to coming home when he couldnt get ahold of me by cell phone. I was asked where i was at lunch time and told he was going to catch me cheating. Needless to say he had an outburst and left and i refused to allow him to come home. I had reached a breaking point my bloodpressure was 151/110 after he was gone it was 120/80. my husband is now doing therapy but I will wait to see if a long term change is possible

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