Q: My son lives in another country and is married to a lovely woman. They are perfectly matched. His wife’s mother started to be very unkind to me (her daughter’s mother-in-law). I can’t even tell you what she did because it was so snide and insidious. I believe her behavior has to come from jealousy. Since she is the mother-in-law of our precious son I have to make it work. Do you have any pointers for me when we visit them for four days in the near future?

A: I’d suggest you laugh a lot and enjoy the people and places while you are overseas. Do not let the small-mindedness of others ruin your vacation.

You are not required to be friends with your son’s in-laws simply because you are related through marriage – but it would be nice, and so I’d not take her jealousy too seriously.

I’d suggest you adopt four attitudes:

1. What others think of me is none of my business.

2. Your jealousy is about you and it is not about me.

3. You’re the one with the jealous feelings, and therefore you are the one with the issue.

4. I will not give you permission to ruin my day by anything you do or say.