Q: My extended family is in constant struggle over my father’s dependence on alcohol. It upsets my teenage children when he becomes abusive to their grandmother and to me, their mother, after a few drinks. I really don’t want to visit my parents over New Year. My eldest son, whom I did not think would even remember the unpleasant incident from last year, has asked if he can stay home if the family goes to their home this year. It would hurt my father’s feelings if he knew the truth, but I do not want to subject my children to all that again. My husband is fine with whatever I decide. What do you think I should do?
A: If you want a “Happy New Year” you might want to start it with a happy event! You are concerned about hurting your father’s feelings but will allow him to hurt your children and you? This is absurd! Don’t go. Tell your father his behavior from last year has had regrettable consequences. I would not suggest a parent ever knowingly subject their child to harmful experiences. Wild horses couldn’t get me to your dad’s house for New Year and I am not even related to him!
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