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Girlfriend wants sex details of past relationships: what must I do?

by Rod Smith

Q: My girlfriend wants to know all the sexual details about my past relationships. She seems to think this will make us closer. I don’t want to tell her anything but she gets all withdrawn when I won’t and she says I am protecting other women and hurting her. Please tell me what you think I should do.

A: Don’t give Ms. Jealous what she says she wants. Details of your former relationships are none of her business. Allowing her to peer into those relationships will most certainly will not bring you closer to each other. Since her desire to know such details probably comes from long-felt insecurities, it is more likely the stories of your past will fuel even greater degrees of jealousy and insecurity. Consequently, such talks are more likely to drive you apart than bring you closer. Besides, that you are no longer with a person does not mean it is legitimate to dishonor the privacy you once shared.

Posted on June 1, 2006 at 9:21 pm in Manipulation, Past relationships, Sex matters, Sexual abuse, Triggers, Trust   |  RSS feed |   Reply   |   Trackback URL

6 Comments to “Girlfriend wants sex details of past relationships: what must I do?”

    
  1. stella moreno's avatar
    stella moreno
    September 11, 2006 at 12:44 am

    Do Not do it! if she has a good imagination? you will be in for the ride of your life!!

    Reply
  2. Rich's avatar
    Rich
    September 18, 2006 at 12:14 am

    If you are serious about this relationship working forever do it. It is very important for your future spouse to know exactly what you did with whom, because if they don’t it will just create problems down the road. If she is just a fling to you, then there is not point, or if you are not sure, tell her that you will later if you see the relationship lasting. Trust is important for a spouse, and if that is what you are interested in, and not just a fling, then you must stat right away.

    Reply
  3. Steven's avatar
    Steven
    September 19, 2006 at 11:39 pm

    This woman is a controller and a manipulator and you should consider seeing someone else. Your past is none of her business and she needs to respect that.

    Telling her will NOT bring you closer it will only give her ammunition for future fights which she does not intend to lose. Get rid of her.

    Reply
  4. Melissa's avatar
    Melissa
    October 17, 2006 at 11:44 am

    I used to ask things like that, it is called insecurity and jealousy. What she is probly hoping to do is “outdo” your exs problem is that she needs to understand if you wanted them and their sex you wouldnt be with her. dont tell her! It will drive both of you nuts. The only thing she needs to know is if you practiced safe sex and if you didnt you need to get tested and that will be all she needs to know. Hope this helped!

    Reply
  5. Candice's avatar
    Candice
    November 8, 2006 at 8:21 pm

    I’m curious as to what happened. Post an update if you still visit this site. Also, I hope you didn’t give her details.

    Reply
  6. Dave's avatar
    Dave
    June 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    I say tell her Every detail. I ask my wife often of every detail we use it in bed it islike swinging. We love to relive her past but now I ma part of it…

    Reply
    

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