It’s not love – it’s habit, hope, and a shared history that can make a conflicted relationship feel impossible to escape

by Rod Smith
Turbulence becomes a way of life....

Conflict is a way of life for some.....

It is the depth of the tie or entanglement between people that can keep couples together despite toxic circumstances like addictions, constant expressions of anger, violence, ridicule, or unfaithfulness.

“Why doesn’t she leave him after his unfaithfulness,” or “I wouldn’t put up with her drinking,” are easy observations to make when details are revealed about a troubled relationship – but it is not as simple as packing bags and moving out.

There are often children, schools, houses, cars, debts, and extended families keeping people together. There are memories. There’s the hope that things will improve. Being together has become a way of life. Even the most troubled relationship can make a person feel he or she belongs. Even the most controlling of marriages can feel “normal”.

For one couple a raging fight might be as “comforting” as a romantic dinner might be for another couple.

There are multiple overt and covert pressures that glue people together despite the most trying of circumstances.

It’s not love – it’s habit, hope, and a shared history that can make a conflicted relationship feel impossible to escape.

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